When it comes to neighboring, introverts often wrestle with questions like: Do I have what it takes? Can I do this in a way that fits who I am? In a world that often equates neighboring with outgoing personalities and extroverted enthusiasm, Kendra Broekhuis offers a refreshing perspective. As an introvert herself and the author of Here Goes Nothing: An Introvert’s Reckless Attempt to Love Her Neighbor, Kendra shares her journey of stepping into neighboring in a way that honors her God-given personality.
Here are a few helpful thoughts from our recent conversation with Kendra on our podcast.
You can listen to the full episode here.
1. Understanding Introversion in Neighboring
A common misconception is that introverts dislike people or struggle with social anxiety. But introversion is simply about how a person gains and expends energy. For introverts, being around large groups for extended periods can be draining, while solitude and one-on-one connections are often life-giving.
Kendra explains that she naturally approaches relationships as a deep thinker and a good listener—qualities that actually serve neighboring well.
Instead of feeling pressure to be the most outgoing person on the street, she leans into these strengths by focusing on meaningful, intentional interactions.
For many introverts, realizing that neighboring doesn’t have to look like block parties or constant socializing is freeing.
2. Finding Neighboring Rhythms That Fit
One of the biggest struggles for introverts is knowing how to engage in ways that feel sustainable. Kendra encourages fellow introverts to recognize that neighboring doesn’t always have to be face-to-face. Simple acts like maintaining a free little library, picking up trash in the neighborhood, or leaving encouraging notes can contribute to a sense of connection and care.
She also shares how important it is to find the right balance. Neighboring requires both stretching outside of our comfort zones and recognizing our limits. She reflects on times when she sensed God nudging her to step into relationships—like visiting her elderly neighbor, Joan—despite her exhaustion. Yet, she also highlights the importance of discernment: neighboring should come from a place of joy and gratitude rather than guilt or pressure.
3. Playing the Long Game
Kendra acknowledges that neighboring can sometimes feel awkward, especially for introverts. Whether it’s an uncertain first interaction or a perceived missed opportunity, it’s easy to overanalyze and wonder, Did that count? Was that enough?
But neighboring is a long game. It’s built on small, consistent acts rather than grand gestures.
Kendra reminds us that no interaction is wasted—every wave, every short conversation, every kind gesture contributes to the fabric of community. Even when we feel like we’ve missed a moment, there will be more opportunities to build trust and connection.
Embracing Introverted Neighboring
Ultimately, Kendra’s story is an encouragement to introverts everywhere: You don’t have to become someone you’re not to love your neighbors well. Instead, you can bring your natural strengths—your thoughtfulness, your listening, your steady presence—to build relationships in meaningful ways.
No matter your personality, God has uniquely equipped you to love your neighbors. The key is to step forward in ways that are both authentic and sustainable, trusting that small, faithful acts will make a difference over time.
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